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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25373350">Spirit in the Sky</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/brubsk/pseuds/blue_fairytale'>blue_fairytale (brubsk)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Captain America (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Hurt Wanda Maximoff, Light Angst, Nightmares, Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Protective Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers Feels, Wanda Maximoff Needs a Hug</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 10:09:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,998</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25373350</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/brubsk/pseuds/blue_fairytale</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Wanda saw blue. And she didn’t care if she was dying or not, it that was the last thing she was going to see. Because it was him. It was his blue. And if she died here and now, her spirits would at least be connected. And one day they would see each other again, she was sure.<br/>Wanda didn’t care, because she saw blue.<br/>Steve blue."</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Wanda Maximoff/Steve Rogers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>36</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Spirit in the Sky</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>When I die and they lay me to rest</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I gonna go the place that is the best</em>
</p><p>
  <em>When they lay me down to die</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I gonna go up to the spirit in the sky</em>
</p><p>The blast threw her away. Wanda felt the rubble scraping her exposed legs, and even heard the fabric of her jacket tearing. Her eyes flew open, in front of all the chaos and ashes of the rising dust, she caught a glimpse of the sky. Clear, clean and blue. The shade of blue she had learned to like. That blue that had hooked her. That soothed her in a flash as soon as she looked at it. Or maybe it was its owner who had that power. And maybe it was on its owner that she was hooked on.</p><p>But none of that mattered, because there, while she felt the weight of what seemed to be the entire building falling on her, Wanda saw blue. And she didn’t care if she was dying or not, it that was the last thing she was going to see. Because it was him. It was his blue. And if she died here and now, her spirits would at least be connected. And one day they would see each other again, she was sure.</p><p>Wanda didn’t care, because she saw blue.</p><p>Clear, clean blue, just like the color of the sky.</p><p>Serene blue.</p><p>Steve blue.</p><p>---</p><p>How long was it considered healthy for two people to fall in love? How long was it good enough for two people to consider that they really know each other? And, more importantly, did seventy years frozen in the ice allow Steve to fall in love with someone who had recently turned twenty-one?</p><p>They had known each other less than two years, trained intensely every day and shared some nightmares, since both had recent losses in their personal accounts. Each had their own battles to deal with, and the silence that often ensued between them while training together was less stifling than the silence with other people. And it seemed to chance completely when the girl gave in to her emotions after a night of nightmares that took her to the complex’s gym to punch away the images.</p><p>As always, Steven didn’t sleep much at night, and his room was next to Wanda’s, so of course he heard when she sneaked past his door on her way to the gym. At that point, the Soldier believed that what he felt was just compassion for the girl, forbidding himself to feel anything else due to the great difference in age, and for not feeling worthy enough, or able to be reciprocated by someone who, despite his similar nightmares, still had a chance to be redeemed for its own sins, something Steve no longer though was capable of happening to him.</p><p>And yet, despite all the negativity that he had installed in himself on that subject, he sat on his bed and faced the door considering whether he should get up or not, and obviously opting for the alternative that took him to the gym. The lights on the place were off, but he knew Wanda was there, listening to the grunts she let out as she tried to punch a punching bag.</p><p>“Rough night?” Steve asked, surprising her. He had stayed behind for a while, watching her trying to throw some punches and failing at it.</p><p>“They always are,” Wand replied, shrugging. The soldier closed the distance between them, standing next to her and holding her hand.</p><p>“Close your hands like that,” he demonstrated, closing her fingers in a way that would not hurt her and would make it easier for her to punch away. She smiles, glancing at him before returning her gaze to the punching bag in front of her. “Put your feet like this,” he fixed her stance, hearing her soft laugh when they almost fell together. “Now try again.”</p><p>Wanda didn’t seem so sure, Steve walked around her and positioned himself behind the punching bag, holding it in place and looking at her in an encouraging way. He smiled, encouraging her even more. Wanda took a deep breath and concentrated, something that was a little difficult when facing Steve Rogers. Chances were that she would fail even more with the blonde’s proximity. She threw her elbow back and pushed forward, punching the sandbag hard and being more successful than before.</p><p>“Very well!” Steve smiled at her. Wand smiled back, clearly more satisfied with the results.</p><p>“I hope I remember that next time,” she said, walking away towards the benches.</p><p>“You’re going to stop now?” He teased, but followed her.</p><p>Wanda leaned against the wall behind her and took a deep breath, feeling a few drops of sweat running down her body. She wasn’t tired and could even throw a few more punches, but there was a reason why she didn’t try too hard to land a good punch. Steve respected her silence, knowing that there was something the girl wasn’t telling and waiting until she was comfortable to speak up.</p><p>“It will sound crazy,” she said, running a hand through her hair, brushing away some strands that had stuck to her face, “but the punches, the sound… They remind me…”</p><p>“Gunshots?” Steve asked when she hesitated once again.</p><p>“I thought that if I did that, I would feel better, I could handle it better,” Wand said, facing the sandbag, “but it seems like a big fail.”</p><p>Steve sighed, leaning forward and resting his forearms on his knees. He understood what Wanda was talking about, he had been through it a lot as soon as he came back from the ice. He knew what she meant by the sound of the punches reminding her of gunshots, because he relieved it every time and he also knew it really brought out the worst memories. But he, unlike Wanda, was something close to a masochist and further amplified the force he put in his punches to relive each scene, hoping that it would ease the pain more easily. Steve wished he could say it would get easier, but he knew that everyone had their own time to deal with situations like these, and he also knew it was the last thing Wand wanted to hear. The soldiers just looked at the girl, seeing a tear or two streaming down her face, eyes closed. His heart sank and he felt a lump in his throat, it was the first time he had seen her so vulnerable.</p><p>“When I lost Pietro,” Steve was surprised when he heard the girl speaking, her eyes remaining close, “all I could think about was revenge… I didn’t mourn because of his death, I couldn’t because I had to kill the responsible for his death… But I couldn’t.”</p><p>Steve knew what she meant by that; the responsible for Pietro’s death was a robot, how do you kill a robot? Ultron had been the cruelest villain they had dealt with until that moment, killing innocents without any regard for their victims, characteristic of a robot created for a single purpose.</p><p>“And when the war was over, all I had were some memories.”</p><p>“You had us,” Steve said, his voice low and smooth.</p><p>“I <em>could</em> have you, but I didn’t want to,” she confessed. “I didn’t think it was right, or fair.” Steve frowned and Wanda felt more tears streaming down her face. “How could I be happy without him? After his death? After losing everything?”</p><p>He understood that conflict, had been gone through that in the initial months after his return, and in the months that followed after the Battle of New York, so he had sunk in every mission thrown in his way. It was his best way to forget what had happened in his past seventy years ago. He also didn’t feel entitled to be happy after leaving so many people behind, how could he continue to live after losing so much?</p><p>“And then <em>you</em> happened,” Wand pulled him away from his daydreams, surprising by the tone of her voice and the implication of that simple sentence. The girl had been thinking about that for a while, always trying to find a small breach in between their talks and practice, but Steve seemed to realize her intentions and always deflected or ran away from it before the topic could get out of his control. But she couldn’t hold it in anymore, it was starting to suffocate her and even if she was rejected by him, she needed to blurt it out. “I know, I know… You think you are too old, that it’s not right and all this crap about me deserving something better and normal, at least. But, Steve, what is normal to us? How can I <em>try</em> to find something normal? People are scared of us, of me. They don’t see me an idol, or want to be like me… No, they want to run away from me. All of them… <em>Except you.</em>”</p><p>Steve swallowed hard, he knew what she meant by that speech, he knew it was bound to happen since he had noticed some signs a few weeks earlier. He tried to fight it, but there was no way. It was too exhausting. But it was also wrong.</p><p>“Wanda…”</p><p>“You think I’m a stupid and innocent girl, as if I’m not capable of read and interpret all the signs. As if I can’t see in your eyes that you feel the same way. You create your lies and your rules to try and ease your conscience, but does it really work?” She asked him, but didn’t give him time to think on a reply. “Do you feel better even though you probably dream about me, about the two of us together at night?”</p><p>“I don’t…”</p><p>“What? Dream about us together? Yeah, sure.”</p><p>“Have you been in my head?”</p><p>“I don’t have to, and <em>never</em> would do it… But if I dream about it, it’s only fair that you do the same. Besides, you suck at disguising those things.”</p><p>Wanda pushed away from the wall, approaching the soldier and touching his hands gently. Steve was used to that touch that usually came with a red energy around it, while Wanda prepared to blow a hit. But this time it was different, there was no red energy, there was only their normal energy, a magnetic force that seemed to attract them even more. There was only her soft, delicate touch, her smooth, citrus-scented skin that intoxicated him whenever they were close. Wanda looked up at the soldier’s face, observing every little detail, every line, every detail of the blue eyes. Even with the lack of light, she could see them with extreme precision, dive into that lake of peace and serenity and feel her mind calming down, warding off any and all nightmares.</p><p>“How can something be wrong when it feels so right?” She whispered, her thumb tracing a pattern on his hand. “Don’t worry, Steve, I want this too.”</p><p>The soldier turned his face to her, surprised at how close they were, and she kept getting closer, looking into his eyes, every now and then glancing at his lips. He wanted to give in, staring at her lips, they looked so soft, slightly red and inviting. It was tempting and he felt every tiny pore of his body giving in to her, and that energy that was between them.</p><p>Their lips were close, millimeters separated them, one small movement and they would seal together. Steve took a deep breath, managing to see every detail on her face, her eyes, the nuances, the fait streaks of red that were right there even without her using her powers. She closed the distance, lightly touching his lips and wanting to go deeper, waiting for his permission. But Steve walked away just moments later, suddenly, standing up and running his hands through his hair.</p><p>“I can’t,” he said, taking a deep breath and avoiding looking at her because he had seen the pain of rejection in her eyes. “I’m sorry,” Steve said, clearly hurting as much as her. “I’m not ready.”</p><p>Wanda didn’t need to hear anything else. She got up from the bench and left the training room, ignoring Steve calling her. The tears were burning and she didn’t want them to fall, or for someone to see her crying. They would demand answers that she didn’t want to give. And she knew it wouldn’t take much for them to connect the dots and put her together with Steve, raising wrong assumptions.</p><p>---</p><p>It was their first mission in months. And it was the first time they would have to talk directly for a long period of time. It was weird, but they had learned as they went to be professionals and to deal with it. Believing that no one would noticed how different their interactions were. And Steve was proud by how he acted, for managing to keep his distance. Until that building started to collapse and he remembered that he and Wanda were the last in the place, and he couldn’t remember how far away she was from him. It didn’t help the lack of response in the communication device in his ear.</p><p>Steve felt lost, out of breath even though he knew his lungs were working perfectly. He coughed while the cloud of smoke still hung in the air, making him feel the dust deep in his throat. The soldier looked around, the shield fixed on his arm slightly scratched from when he had used it to protect himself, trying to see beyond an inch of his face, but it was in vain. After turning in his own axis, the soldier took a deep breath, trying not to feel how it made his cough even worse, it wasn’t important. The dust was starting to settle, but he still couldn’t see what he wanted, there was no one in sight.</p><p>“Wanda!” He screamed, looking everywhere trying to find the girl. His heart was starting to beat even faster in his chest. He wouldn’t be able to forgive him if something happened to her. He knew it hadn’t been a good idea to bring her with him. “Please,” he all but begged in a whisper, his eyes now finally being able to identify a few shapes. One in particular.</p><p>She wasn’t so far away from him, her uniform usually red and black, now covered in soot and dust, as was her face and hair, spread out everywhere, giving her an almost angelic image, were it not for the chaotic situation. Steve knelt beside her, brushing away some debris, noticing her bruised skin, carefully lifting it and trying to find out if she was still alive. Fortunately, her heart was still beating, and her breath was still coming out of her note, albeit slow. Steve stroked her hair, trying to bring some order to chaos and brought her closer to his body, feeling the heat emanating from her and warming his body that seemed to have frozen in the face of the fear the she might not have survived that explosion.</p><p>Despite knowing that she was still alive, Steve only managed to calm down completely when he heard her cough as Wanda came to consciousness, her eyes blinking rapidly to get used to the scenery around them. Her brow furrowed when she found Steve’s face so close to her and so concerned. Wanda looked around as much as she could without leaving the soldier’s arms, not only for comfort, but also for the how good it was to feel him so close, his heart beating fast as if it wanted to leave his chest to replace hers and bring Wanda back to life.</p><p>The blue eyes so close had caused a slight confusion in her, that remembered the sky she had stared seconds before passing out. Wanda was back on feeling the calm and serenity of before, knowing that everything was fine even without being able to remember exactly what had happened. Steve was there. Nothing could be wrong if he was there holding her so close to him</p><p>“What happened?” She asked, looking back at him. Brown eyes focusing on the blue ones.</p><p>“Everything exploded…” Steve replied, incapable of looking anywhere other than Wanda’s face, still not believing she was actually alive. “I thought you were dead… That I had lost you.”</p><p>“Steve…” He didn’t let her finish, his lips pressing against the girl’s, while his arms tightened around her even more. Wanda sighed, finally moving just to place a hand on the back of Steve’s neck and deepen the kiss, her stomach feeling like it was in free fall at the cold that had settled in it, something she defined as the famous butterflies people talked about. She also smiled at the soldier’s gentle and delicate kiss, as if he feared he would hurt her if he tried to intensify that kiss even more.</p><p>It wasn’t the right moment for that, they both knew, but they also couldn’t find in themselves to stop and pull away. They had denied themselves for so long, had considered the cons and forgotten the pros so that it wouldn’t happen and they wouldn’t ruin what already seemed great. But it seemed that nothing mattered anymore, they were both tired of running away and waiting for someone else, someone more appropriate.</p><p>Because the truth was that this person didn’t exist, just the two of them to understand and comprehend the mess they both were. Only the two of them to help each other find themselves in that world where they just seemed to lose. Only the two of them to complete each other and bring the peace that the other needed so much to move on. Only the two of them to take each other to heaven. Only them to provide each other’s comfort. Only them to bring each other’s inner peace.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So this fic was written in 2017 as a part of a project, and inspired by the song <i>Spirit in the Sky</i>, by Norman Greenbaum, and what a challenge that was. Just in revising this now, I found another version of that - something completely different that neve met its ending. And ScarletAmerica was the only thing I could make it work.</p><p>It's not one of my best works, the one I'm most proud of - and now I miss these two - but I still think it's kinda cute, and I hope you liked it too. If you did liked, please feel free to leave some kudos &lt;3.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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